Everything SAGs on the Internet

I did it again. I watched another fucking awards show.

Thought for the Day

In the wrong hands, anything is a weapon.

Academy Awards and Other Awful Things

My prediction is that 'The Descendants' will win. Everyone loves George Clooney, despite knowing full well that no one on the planet buys him as anyone's* any kid's father. I think he dislikes kids. I was thrilled to see that Gary Oldman was shortlisted, but I don't think he likes kids either and I think he'll pay dearly for that.

Melissa McCarthy was nominated for the Best Supporting Actress award. She deserves to win too. The woman is fucking brilliant. Watch 'Bridesmaids', then look at Melissa at any time, think of a sink, and try not to laugh. It's hard to make people feel good, yet very, very easy to make people cry (as human beings have a tendency to  attach sentiment to shit that makes no sense). I haven't seen any of the other women in their films. I don't have to, and I think everybody knows that now.

Have you ever imagined how some nominees handle losing? Start with the egos. Add the drugs and booze and dodgy sex that those shaky feelings of entitlement lead these people to indulge in. Now think of the dogged determination it takes to remain in the public consciousness. Think of the devastation upon learning that the public - YOUR public! - loves someone else more than they love you. Think of the consequences and the spouses and children and staff. That's right. Get the fuck out of the way.

Have you noticed that they no longer say, "And the winner is..."? They now have to say "And the Award goes to...". Do you know why? Because no child gets left behind. Everyone's a winner, and no one wants these poor little lambs to feel a sense of loss. They have nothing else going for them. This is as good as it gets. Award season is the yard stick by which all other contributions to American culture are measured.

Americans accuse Canadians of having no culture. Our mix of races and cultures and freshness in the world means that we're too young and scatterbrained to appreciate what having a truly distinct culture means. If you're going to keep on about that, you know need to sort some shit out. Your most recent and significant contributions to the world are probably only appreciated by a quarter of your country. The rest are out tanning and planning pilgrimages to New Jersey. You are seriously considering granting a lot of power to Newt Gingrich. I love you, but you have clearly lost your collective fucking mind.

Come back to us.

~~~~~

This scenario had occurred to me. Actually, despite the country they were visiting, it occurred to me right away. Attempts to murder wives and use the violent social climate of a particular country to pave the way for an alibi have been made before. The whole thing is just awful. I hope she's able to come home soon.

~~~~~

Joan, you're very fucking funny. Stop this shit.





________________________________________________________________
* I might lack Stacy Keibler's perspective. 

Fiction

I never know where any of the stuff I write comes from. I don't usually write from current experiences unless, oddly enough, they're generic or somehow connected to something mundane or impersonal. Many times it comes from around me, or my past, or even some sort of trigger, often completely unrelated. Very rarely do I write about my life right now. I think it's important to make that distinction early on.

Will start posting some shortly.

*crickets*

Very busy at work these days, hence the quiet. No real computer access at home as of yet, so I don't  post there. I'm working on it.A little bit o' stress right now.

In the meantime, please consider:

- I live with three other people who have way better things to do than help me with the house, but beer cans aren't an issue.

- I do what I can to help people, but I don't feel the right amount of empathy sometimes, I admit it. I also don't really spend a lot of time worrying about how other people feel about me. That might pose a problem, but it's a bigger problem for men.

- I also have a hard time getting it up for stupid people.

Friday Day Pass

The week is drawing to a close. The rest of this is a little introspective and annoying. Feel free to not read it. I wouldn't.


Let me just say that after the week I've had, I am so glad I work here. It's not easy all the time, but the people here are more accepting of me than they have to be. The only thing they ever ask me to do is my job, and in return I do that and give them bits of the rest of my life. I guess that's what family does too: they ask you to do your job at home, and you give them what they ask for along with remnants of your work day.

Tit for tat, as they say.

Another proposal out the door. That's two this week. Working for the weekend this time around, that's for sure...

Til next week.

S

So.

I've been working on a proposal and browsing used car listings all day. I don't have anything worthwhile to contribute (so unlike every other day, apparently) but I'll look.

...

All I can see is that yet another Canadian was killed in Mexico, Elton's husband is whingeing about Madonna winning an award for a horrible song (but still not for directing... ergo, he should shut up), and that Italian ship captain is in a shitload of trouble.

Drug wars, angry queens and Italian chickenshits. There's your Tuesday, folks.

My Golden Globes

Eh, I think I'm done with awards shows.

Domar loves this blog!

Domar.ru is a spam referrer. It's been making me sad, as its presence in my stats log means that the traffic count is inaccurate. So I'm gonna have to get a counter or something to confirm what I already suspect: three people read this blog.

Which is great. I happen to love those three people, and I don't see enough of them. So it's kinda like keeping in touch with them. Sorta. Kinda? Maybe.

I know the members of my household don't read the blog much, which is okay as long as they're reading something else they find interesting. My oldest read my blog entry of yesterday, where I mentioned her love of  'The Notebook' and how I understand her love of the movie, alluding to the idea that even though I'm not like her in some ways or how we don't necessarily share the same interests, I do adore her. She said, "There's a silent movie coming out?"

I'm just an old person now.

Eventually their interest will peter out altogether. Then I can post the good (read: dirty) stuff.

About that: that'll happen soon. I'm looking to start a small serial. Or huge. These things have a way of getting away from you. Suggestions welcome.

All About Tim Tebow

I think that everything you really need to know about Tebow can be found in this article. If you need to know anything else about him, you'll have to keep digging.

I think I'm good.

'The Artist' and Art

Has anyone seen 'The Artist'? I'd really like to. It's the first widely-released silent film since Charlie Chaplin pointedly released one in the late 1930s...

Bits.

Just a couple of things before today's main post:

This is ever so gross, but... good...

This is part of my lead-up to a blog post about Mittens.

Happy Wednesday!

How are you, really?

Good morning, beautiful people.

 All people really are beautiful, you know, but they don't use their obvious advantages and powers for the greater good. So fuck 'em.*

If I was in possession of a smartphone courtesy of a company that wasn't going tits up in the public consciousness, I could post from it. But I don't, so I post from work. Soon (Christopher Hitchens' Murderer willing) I hope to be able to post on weekends, as I plan to acquire a Netbook or something of that nature, or get my shitty HP laptop fixed.** My darling PS is leaning towards me getting it fixed, but I have a bad and more-expensive-than-just-buying-something-new feeling about that. I've got lots to do...

Lots to do here too. I'd planned a longer post but that won't happen today. Tomorrow, though, I'll try to touch on what my original intent was with this blog: posting bits o' fiction. I'd like to make it fun, though, and a little more interactive. If you have any ideas for that, please post in the comments.

Until tomorrow...

S~









* WHAT? Do I look like Oprah to you?? 
** It served me well. I got it from my boyfriendhusbandsignificantother when I needed something to write on. He didn't know that HP and I have established this apparent arrangement where I buy their products (desktop PC, printer or laptop), then it takes a sudden, angry technoshit and dies long before it should (but definitely after the warranty expires).

This Week in Crankiness

Hi. The only thing I can think to do in a post today is bitch. 

There have been a flood of car accidents in all parts of Ontario involving teenagers. Most of the drivers have been females in their late teens. As a parent, I have to assign blame to something, so I'll go with inexperience / lack of confidence and subsequent overcompensating arrogance, along with weather and speed. Oh, and put down the fucking cell phones already. Until they've been dismissed as a factor in any of these accidents, I'm going to blame them. And you know we're going to lecture the girls tonight. (I know those poor kids really, really wish their father and I were illiterate...)

There have been two Canadians killed in Mexico this week. You know what, fellow countrymen? Stay the fuck out of Mexico. There are people there running around with machetes who DO NOT WANT US THERE. Mexico is a beautiful country and pretty inexpensive. But by most accounts (excepting those of Mexicans, who love their homeland forever and never, ever want to leave) it's not the most beautiful country in the world, and it's probably getting cheaper for Canadians because the country's corrupt and powerful have decided they like killing us and let's face it, we're like fucking lemmings when it comes to Mexico. Try Cuba. If Cuba's Communism, stalled culture and beach militia unnerve you, spend some money and try Europe. Oh wait. We're in a recession. Then buy a fruity hat and some foreign cheese. And eat all of the cheese, you wasteful asshole.

A 12 year old in Calgary was taken into custody for the sexual assault of three little kids in his residence. Can you think of why a 12 year old would want to have sex with a child under the age of five? I can. He's been taught that it's perfectly acceptable. The only other logical explanation would be severe mental retardation, which would call into question an adult's decision to leave several small children in the older child's care. So... how fucked up IS that household?

Four stabbings in Toronto over past two days, some of them outside clubs and bars. What happened to having a beer in your parents' basement with your buddies, then kicking them all out so you can fool around with your girlfriend? Those clubs are social sinkholes. The ones that welcome people with actual money are too exclusive for the sort of people who randomly stab other people. I think I'm now at the point where I can just dismiss any peremptory sympathy for anyone who frequents any of them. If you want to drink tequila and dance and get stabbed, just go to Mexico. 

Have a great weekend.

And did you finish that tattoo design like I asked??

In a text to my youngest:

"What's doin'? You guys room tidyin' and cleaning your piercings?"

It's just occurred to me that I might not be like other moms.

If I put my socks in the toaster, then I can't heat up Pop Tarts.

A long, ramble-y post today...

If Famous Writers Had Written Twilight… (io9)

My friend Beth linked to this on Facebook (originally posted here). I really had to share it, since Stark's biggest beef with Twilight has always been mine. The comments are golden.

An io9 commenter named Unicycle offered this Dr. Seussian synopsis of the Twilight series:


Twilight, by Dr. Seuss

Jake likes a girl. Her name is Bella.
Bella likes a different fella.

See this vamp? This is Ed.
Ed is pale. Ed is dead.

Ed saved Bella from a van.
Ed must be a special man.

Ed won't kill boys. He won't kill girls.
Ed gets fed on deer and squirrels.

This is James. He's a tracker.
He's a sort of vamp attacker.

James hunts Bella for a thrill.
Will Ed kill him? Yes, he will.

But James gave her a little bite.
Will she be a vamp? She might!

Edward fixes Bella's cut.
She won't be a vampire.
But...

She becomes one. Read some more.
She's a vampire in book 4.

Happy New Year!

To all. :)

I hope that everyone who celebrated Christmas enjoyed it thoroughly, and that everybody got everything they needed and a lot of what they wanted. :)