Screw the counting of days.

I have to go back to work in a couple of days, so I don't want to count them no more.

It's New Years Eve!

That's all I have.

Blah, Part Three

More stuff to do tomorrow. Groan.

Blah, Part Two

Home. Epic shopping.

A little disturbed and sad today. I think that the person I mentioned previously needs help. That person is very angry, and feels victimized because... I don't know why. I think it's because people prioritize differently. Sometimes that has to be done. It's unavoidable.

Which day is this? Part One

My oldest and I, in our ongoing quest for beautiful/blemish-free/supple/whatfuckingever skin, hit the Clinique counter a few minutes ago. Now she and her sister are in Urban Behavior and I'm sitting here waiting for their Dad to return with my tea. Like a mall person.

Shel's Wacky 11

Gotta catch up here...

December 27. Not much going on there. I think that day and the next -

December 28

- I spent bemoaning my womanhood. I spent most of the 28th in bed, aching.

Holidays are great.

Yesterday was the only day I didn't drink, and the one day I should have. Because yesterday someone historically selfish and spoiled told me what a mean and cold person I am. That person has a horribly selective memory.

Life is brutal. To prove it, I'm holding that party to their word.

Shel's 11 Days... It's Boxing Day. So that's... Five?

So far... a turkey sandwich, some ginger ale, tea and chocolate. Played the Call of Duty I got for Christmas. Hung out. PS has to work tonight. :(

Shel's 11 Days of Christmas: Day Four (THE Day)

My Christmas this year served as a solemn reminder of what is most important. PS went to the hospital with his mum because she wasn't well. He was away for a huge chunk of the day, and we missed him and the oldest terribly, but they were off making sure she was okay which, in the end, was all we cared about. Not a great Christmas for her, but she already sounds / looks / feels better, and that's worth everything.

Also, I baked the moistest, rockingest turkey ever.

Shel's 11 Days of Christmas: Day Three

That would be Christmas Eve...

I shopped and drank. There. Happy? 'Cause I was.

Shel's 11 Days of Christmas

I'm behind.

Day One was yesterday, a Saturday. But to kick everything off on Friday night, I drank a bottle of wine (I poured a glass for the Problem Solver). It had been a gift. Good stuff. Thanks, John.

So yesterday...

Day One...

PS and I went to LCBO and made all of our Christmas wishes a reality. We acknowledge often how blessed we are to be so happy and healthy. There is nothing we really wish for at the moment. The girls and I are just thrilled to be able to sit around in our underwear.

Last night, I drank two Mike's Hard Limes and had a few shots of Drambuie. My goal for the holidays is to drink every day. I wonder if I'll feel bad about that sometime between Christmas and New Years. I doubt it very much. At my age, I don't hold much with the remorse and given that I will make one very robust resolution for the new year, I'm going to need to reinforce my resolve through hours of giddy reflection. Or something.

Day Two...

That's today. Sunday. I haven't drank anything but I expect to and I'll let you know how that goes. Me oldest and I went out and bought cards, gift bags, wrapping paper and a shit load of Oasis strawberry-banana smoothie. The fridge is FILLED with it. It's kind of awesome.

Been a long time...

... so sorry. Lots been going on. Also, I didn't have anything to say. Not that I do now, but I've come to the realization that since lots of people listen to Kanye West, that Bieber chick or a Kardashian, I'm worthy of some attention. Even if it is just once every quarter.


Christmas is coming. I've begun shopping. There's that. I'll spend a lot, I always do, but I have nice kids. I'd better, anyway. (shaking fist)


I'm sad today because Kevin Clash resigned today as Elmo's proctologist. Sesame Street has always been near and dear to my heart, and  I say that with no sarcasm or irony. The whole thing just makes me horribly sad, there is no innocence left anywhere. Certainly not in my stony heart. Not now.


This happened. Well.


If I happen upon an article about this man, I mistake him for Tom Bergeron. I can't help it. They are indistinguishable to me.

Movies, movies, movies.

I might have festival fever. As a matter of fact, I'd count on it.

We have Netflix. I've been guilty of dismissing it in the past, but no longer since I've given up almost completely on American cinema. I've watched a hell of a lot of films in the past couple of weeks (most of them with my youngest) and I'm going to list some of the best of them below, from decent to excellent.


Beneath the Dark. USA, 2010.
A young couple (some guy and Meadow Soprano) stop at a motel to rest and weird shit happens. I found this one slightly hokey but still a little interesting. Worth some time, though, as it's less lazy than most American thrillers.

Exorcismus. Spain, 2010.
A teenage girl is exorcised. Not all is lost, though: there's a twist AND a lesson.

Jar City. Iceland, 2006.
The murder of an elderly man opens up a decades old rape case, and a whole lot of other stuff. A busy story but well kept together. Iceland is a stark backdrop and it works better than I could have imagined.
(subtitled)

11:14. USA, 2003.
A movie about how lives become intertwined at a precise moment and around a particular intersection. This one is tight and  funny, and I had to guess a lot. Patrick Swayze stars in it, too, so I was all sad and nostalgic...

Hawaii, Oslo. Norway, 2004.
A man who works at a psychiatric hospital has a dream that one of the patients, out for a run, is hit by an ambulance. Given that the man's dreams have come true before, he frantically searches for the errant patient. His search introduces a series of characters whose troubled lives become intertwined.  A great script developed very carefully.
(subtitled)

The Secret in Their Eyes. Argentina, 2009.
A retired police inspector just can't forget an old case to rest and decides to write a novel about it. This is one of the best movies I've seen in a long time, it's just a good story told well.
(subtitled)

Rabies. Israel, 2011.
Released in its native land as Kalavet and touted as Israel's first honest-to-goodness horror movie.
A guy staggers out of the woods to meet a handful of stranded kids on the road and tells them his sister has been abducted by a maniac. This movie did not unfold or end the way I assumed it would, and that made me intensely happy. Watch this. 
(subtitled)

The Wave. Germany, 2008.
A high school teacher proves to his political science class that a dictatorship in modern day Germany is still very possible. Nein, alarmingly easy. A reminder about the importance of structure and family and worth every minute.
(subtitled)

Five Days. Gone.

I had five days off. I have to go back to work tomorrow. I love my job, it's okay, but having five days off was pretty sweet.

I read a lot...  finished Unholy Night by Seth Grahame-Smith (Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies). The book maps out the night of Jesus' birth from the POV of one of the wise men, and relates how he really came to meet Mary, Joseph and Jesus. I don't know how God-fearing Seth is, but his Herod is one of the most loathsome I've ever come across.


I was kind of surprised by how much I enjoyed that, and I think that Seth is an undervalued writer. Maybe it's because I'm a Canadian that I don't get snooty enough about taking such liberties with Lincoln. I don't like romance novels and old romance novels don't charm me any more than the new ones do. There's nothing wrong with artistic license if it's smart, entertaining and just a tiny bit believable. 


Geoff passed along The Electric Koolaid Acid Test, written by Tom Wolfe. Written in 1968, this is a journalistic 'account' of the author's encounter(s) with the Merry Pranksters, a group of counterculture artists and others led by Ken Kesey (author of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest). As near as I can tell so far, anyway, I've just started.

I'm also halfway through 23 Things They Don't Tell You About Capitalism by Ha-Joon Chang. Chang is an economist and professor at the University of Cambridge. He's teaching me a lot. This has been the most approachable and enjoyable book about economics I've ever taken a stab at. I'd recommend it to anybody. The gist: capitalism, and the free market system on which this ideology is based, does not work in the long term. Marvelous.


More later, including books...

One Month Later

It's been a month since I posted anything. A whole month.

Lots has happened, I reckon:

• I turned 39. That doesn't impact the world, but screw the world. This isn't the world's blog.

• Many people died, presumably, as that's what people do.

Superficially speaking, that's it.


Okay, Okay. More specifically:


Luka Magnotta was arrested for murder and dismemberment. He's worth the amount of attention it takes to load one bullet into a big, scary gun and the fractions of a second that bullet takes to turn his wormy little 'brain' to liquid. That's it, kid, there's the spotlight you deserve. I pray you choke on your own tongue, in your sleep (if you want). Preferably tonight. Just get it over with.


Saw Roger Waters perform 'The Wall' this past weekend. I enjoyed it a lot more than I expected, but I'm not sure why that surprises me. I'm anti-everything and detest being told what to do by anyone. Great show.


Porn stars drink and drive sometimes. Wait... porn stars lack sound judgement?? Well, I never.

There emerges a report today that Madonna sends a crack team of cleaners and scrubbers into her dressing rooms after she's all done with them to make sure her DNA isn't just left lying around all willy-nilly. In case someone wants to clone her? Why won't she just fuck off?

Things like this! are considered newsworthy.

Also this. You know what, BigDumbEdgyRodent? You need to learn a fucking instrument. Your fingers will cramp and bleed a little and then you'll learn to appreciate that real talent is more than hitting a button. I've not bought into the idea that technology makes everything better and I would wager that if you threw a real trumpet (made of brass and everything) into the mix, you'd be Avant Garde Mouse in three seconds.

<3

BACK.

It's been a very long time. I've been working on many proposals. I also bought another laptop, so now updates to this blog are not confined to work hours. Lucky you, and lucky HMM.

Alas, nothing has changed. At all, anywhere. That's fine with me. I am looking for a car now, however. I don't really have any time to look for a car. I'm hoping that when work slows down just a little, I can steal a few moments during the day to continue the search.

More later. :)

Ants and the Internet

Ants. They're little machines, those wee buggers...

With every invention that has the potential to bring human beings closer to one another, there is also the potential to do each other great harm. It would seem that we hear more about the harm we do to each other than the good. There's plenty of good on the Internet, it would seem, and if you ever find yourself in the position to help someone, even if you don't know them, please do. (I always think about my kids... what if one of them was alone and all they had - heaven forbid - was an online connection? I'd want someone to reach out to them...)

Links from All Over

Skeletons of Cartoon Characters

Britain's sexiest loos. Is something called a 'loo' ever really sexy, though?

Always love Letters of Note.

This is a beautiful, heart-tugging video to watch. One thing about this little lady never changes: she always has something to say. :)

Hmm. Parce que les ananas ne parlent pas?

It's cool to look poor.

I feel as though this new HBO show, Girls, is being overanalyzed. I haven't seen it yet, and I don't want to watch it anymore. Also, it makes me feel as though there's a lot of pointless sex in it. If even one of the people involved isn't into it, I'm not into it.

Two Things.

Here's Thing Number One...

*gasp* Remember Sea Monkeys? I wanted them so bad, but my mum wouldn't let me get them. She's a wise woman, but I was an odd kid and sometimes I wanted odd things. As the man says, your parents insistence that these things are rip-offs only ever make you want them more. However, it always goes beyond that. You know they don't do anything, but they look cool and when I was growing up I didn't take any cues from TV and we didn't have the internet to kill our imagination.

You know, I'm glad I grew up where and when I did...

~*~

And here's Thing Number Two...

I love the fact that I get to be with someone I love immensely. Sometimes I give him a hard time for the lack of romance in our relationship but you can be sure that there's no lack of love in it.

I know what love is. I know what it's not, and exposure to trite, xylophone-laden songs about chickenshits who just can't seem to row themselves to the flowery, maiden-speckled shore of true love make me so tired. 'I Am a Rock' is a bolder and superbly written song that also admits that it sucks to be dead inside but doesn't make a grown, bitter man sound like a histrionic tween girl. There are lots of songs like that, actually...

I'm gonna go home and listen to The Mighty Q. Have a great weekend, folks.

S~

Do you want to feel like angels are frolicking on your taste buds?

Lifted from a blog called Now That's Nifty.

How do you feel about colon?

Spelling matters. It always has, it always will. Bad spellers are routinely caught and branded 'idiots' by someone who understands how much it matters, whether you like it or not. Even the shittiest speller will feel smug and insufferably superior if they catch someone else's spelling mistake. I doubt the Twitter generation cares because Twitter's functionality is not conducive to literacy. Only Twitter's Rich and Famous account holders seem to pay attention to spelling. If the 'yoot' of N. America can't see vowels in words longer than four letters, they won't see the irony in the above. So fuck it. Do what you want, kids.

HITCHCOCK.

Principal photography just began on HITCHCOCK, a bio film about the big man. Who's playing the director? Take a look. I, for one, am excited already.

When's Day?

I need a break.


My oldest is 17 today. Jesus H. Christ. Happy birthday, girlwoman, I hope you're having a lovely day.  <3

~*~

A. (my spouse) sent a great link today. The writer calls Gotye the "White Tupac".

In case you're wondering where the name came from: his name is Walter. 'Gauthier' is French for 'Walter'. He's from Belgium. They speak French there.

It's very clever to fuck with your name the way he did. I would have called myself Goat Yay, though.

P.S. Shitty fucking song and I'm tired of it already.

~*~

Ohhhh, some of these are terrible.

~*~

Some days, you think that perhaps there are sensations you just need to feel. Today, I would like to roll around in warm blue mud. There is absolutely nothing sexual about that, I just think the texture would make me feel better.

I'm having a weird day.

A Post-Easter Post

Mike Wallace passed away this weekend. I liked that guy. He was a hardass. I've seen quite a few of his interviews. He once asked the Ayatollah if he was crazy. He'll be missed.

Thomas Kinkade passed away too. I liked some of his stuff, it was kind of warm and cozy. But I agree with an something I read this morning: his cottages look as though they're on fire inside. I think that's what's made me ever so slightly uncomfortable with his art all these years.

A few things:

Mark 'Marty' Rathbun was a long time senior member of the Church of Scientology, not to mention a trusted insider and advisor to many of the organization's high profile members. Not long ago he made the decision to leave the church. They've been harassing him ever since. As a follower of Scientology hijinx for quite some time, I find this article particularly engaging: Marty hasn't left his beliefs behind, just the money-grubbing and haranguing of the organization. The separation of Scientology beliefs from the 'church' should be possible, shouldn't it? Marty says it is, and that Scientology without the corporation is a lot like Zen Buddhism. I have my doubts that such a separation is possible given some of the principles on which it was founded (not to mention what kind of person the founder was widely reputed - and proven - to be), but this article is an intriguing read anyway.

~~*~~

American parents want to ban The Hunger Games trilogy. Aren't parents of children in the trilogy's target demographic are former Generation Xers? Weren't we all about Nirvana and Bikini Kill and Pulp Fiction and riot grrls? You've changed, parents.

But go ahead. Ban the books, buy your kid a computer, and put it in his or her room. Don't forget to shut the door so your angel has his or her privacy. Or just send your kid to bed with their iPhone next to their bed. You can sit up and watch Real Housewives and drink your Chablis and pat yourself on the back: your kid is safely at home with you and not reading that nasty stuff. You're a fucking idiot and you're making more fucking idiots. Good for you. Romney for President!

~~*~~

Ashley Judd, please forgive me. I get angry with other women, I forget myself and I become one of them. You are bright and beautiful and your face is like a sweet lollipop.

I might be in love with you, actually. You're my kind o' woman.

~~*~~

I love flowcharts and Venn diagrams. Mental Floss (Miss Cellania, in particular) loves 'em too. :)

~~*~~

Why hasn't Rush been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Has anyone ever started a petition?

~~*~~

I think that's it for now. 

Alive.

Barely.

More next week.

Fedex

My package was signed for in North Bay. Thanks, Fedex!

OWN

I was here late last night, so I don't have much of an idea of what went on in the world yesterday after 1 p.m. EST. I usually take a look at the news first thing in the morning, so there's lots for me to look over.

Oprah laid off 30 people. Times are hard, I guess. I mean, poor Oprah. I'm kidding. Fuck her. I think Oprah's a narcissistic piece of crap for fighting tooth and nail to forget she was dirt fucking poor once upon a time. There is no way in hell she could not afford to pay those 30 people, at least for another year or so. She can give 50 audience members cars or sectionals or whatever the hell, but she can't salvage 30 people's livelihoods. That bitch is a stone cold phony and I don't get why legions of housewives hang on to her every word. They read every book she tells them to read, buys every goddamn toothbrush and throw she tells them to buy... honestly. HONESTLY.

I'm waiting for a package to get to North Bay. I've got a tab open to Fedex. I keep hitting refresh. OCD much?

I'm also working on two proposals now, literally going back and forth between two completely unrelated documents. As exhausting as this is, I honestly believe it's very good for my brain.

So I gotta go do this shit.

xo

Birthday Wishes

She doesn't come here (because having to listen to me at home is enough, I get it) but maybe someone will tell her.

Ahem.

Happy birthday to Stef, the jazziest, funniest, stubbornest, feistiest 15 year old I know. All of the crazy things you are will serve you really well in the future, Stef, just stay the course. I think that you're headed for a pretty enjoyable life, and I'm excited for you. I also love you an awful lot.

I will see you later, sugar. xo

L'Amour

It doesn't matter who wins or loses*, this is friggin' awesome.










*Okay. The Leafs should always lose. It matters.

This Weekend: London Calling

Got pierced again. Saw the 'Game of Thrones' exhibit at the TIFF Bell Lightbox (either I have been there before, or the inside of it looks pretty generic).

St. Patrick's Day was Saturday. Happy St. Pat's to those of you who are actually Irish.

Every loser who had nothing better to do was drunk by noon and puking in the street. Or they were on or near the Fanshawe College campus, proving that the English language really can't do without the word 'retard', for we could not succinctly describe the type of loser responsible for what went on in London this weekend. You're all morons, you deserve everything you get, I don't give a shit how bored you were, you're all pieces of shit. This is not what young people do to blow off steam. People who really are too stupid to live - who have miraculously coasted through their lives undeservedly unscathed - do this, when we all know that they should be punched every single day of their lives for being so, so stupid.

Do you think it's stretching it a bit, to say they should be punched? Word is that you can find a lot of footage online. I haven't searched it out, but it's probably there. I assume it is, and I hope it is. People are being identified. As with after the Vancouver riots, people will lose jobs and likely be kicked out of school because they just wanted to have a good time, bro. These things follow people around now, you see, because of YouTube and Facebook and Twitter and everybody's uncontrollable urge to share every second of their pathetic existences. It fucks with your life and embarrasses your families. This right here is the reason that cops carry billies and pepper spray. It is why our taxes are high.

So come here so I can punch your stupid face, Stupid.


Nothing happened on Sunday.

MTO

My best friend works for the government as a website designer / administrator / goddess type person. Here's an open letter to her:

Dear Bestie,

This made me sad. You couldn't pull some strings and redo this one, eh?

Love you,

S.

This Week

It's been all about proposals and almonds. Work and kids. That's where it's at, folks... :)

Pre-Weekend Things

Mini libraries in New York. We have a bookshelf here in our cafeteria that holds a surprising collection. I was sure it would be all environmental assessments and technical manuals. Hell, libraries in general are just fantastic, and this one in Norway is all sweet curves and window slats...

Um... okay! Go Dick!

Those are the happiest things I can find on the fly. Have a great weekend...

Ontario's Vision, Part 3: Order Results

I was at home on Monday the 5th, so I could pick up the mail right away.

Please hold...

Will post tomorrow with the results of my shopping experiment with ClearlyContacts.ca, I apologize for the delay.

I really need to figure out the PC situation at home...

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

By Me
~~~~~

When I was a kid

(I was, it's true)

I WAS a kid

Not a tree, 

Not a shoe...

I read about cats

in hats

and ham 

and eggs of odd colours

and Sam I Am!

I loved all the wockets 

and Horton and the WHOs!

And I was hypersuperly flummoxed

By Thing One and Thing Two!

Go here!

And go here!

Visit here!

Say hello!

Read to your kid, "Oh, The Places You'll Go!"

It's our dear Doctor's birthday

He's one hundred and eight

Or he would be 

Of course

If he were HERE 

on THIS DATE... 

We miss you!

Apologies, Dr. Seuss, and many thanks for everything...

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

Wall Street Nuts

The 1%?

Ontario's Vision, Part 2: Now, We Wait.

After my initial post about the CBC and glasses, I chose a pair of frames at ClearlyContacts.ca.

Miniatures

Love 'em. If I had more time, I would probably occasionally put together a miniature something or other. A Mental Floss entry from this morning featured the work of miniaturist Kim Burke. Lovely, delicious stuff.

Ontario's Vision for Us is a Scam

I mentioned CBC's Marketplace earlier in the week, and can't recommend their most recent telecast enough.

Canadians who require prescription eyewear, watch that video. If you choose not to watch the video, I'll give you the gist but keep in mind that I can't rewatch the video here at work so I may be playing fast and loose with some details:

Bronies

These people fucking exist, and I never, ever want to meet one.

Oscars: This Might Prove My Point

At least a little.

This explains why Meryl won, and it makes sense. Not that she isn't deserving, because I think that we can all pretty much agree that she is. But if she hadn't been in the running, who the hell would they have chosen?

Without that comfort level, things get sticky, in other words...

Oscars

Okay. Here we are, as promised.

My girl Melissa didn't win. Okay. I accept that. I still love her so much. Meryl won, deservedly so. The hot French guy won, and without seeing the movie I can tell you I'd vote for him.

Clooney was fairly convinced he was going to win, I think. After The Artist and Midnight in Paris and the look on his face during that whole Cirque thing, his next girlfriend is going to come straight from Paree. Mark my words.

Billy was funny. It's the appropriate level of funny for the Oscars. It's the biggest night of the year for the most fragile group of people on the planet, and as hard as I prayed for a meltdown it didn't happen. I think Rooney Mara takes herself far too seriously, and having looked again at her facial expression after she lost to Meryl Fucking Streep... you know what? I'll stop there. Put in your time, kid, and take some notes. People want to like you, you did a good job. But you didn't win. Back to work.

I've read several times today that this is considered the worst Oscars ever. Eh, I don't think so. It was nice to see Billy again, everybody who should be there was there (Brad & Angelina & George & GeorgeGirlfriend (sorry, Stacey, but that's life) & Paltrow & RD Jr. & Spielberg & most certainly Tom Hanks). It was like old times.

If it sucked, it's because overall, awards shows suck. It's not because of the direction of the telecast, or the actors, or the films themselves. It's because the very act of attempting to choose the very best of a group of things that don't have anything in common (other than the fact that they're films) is SO subjective, it's impossible to do. It's not a footrace. The most deserving winner is not always clear. Ask George.

This is the biggest night of the year for the industry, for film buffs, for starfuckers, for a hell of a lot of people, and the Academy never, ever, ever gets it right. You can blame the f-bomb or the accountants or the jolly ladies who run around the red carpet or Ryan Seacrest or whoever the hell, I don't know. But I'm telling you, that no one's ever happy with the Oscars because no one's ever happy with who the Academy chose. So they blame something stupid. I do the same thing. Granted, I didn't mind last night's Oscars, but that's because of some of the actors and my God it looked like some of them (the cast of Bridesmaids, Zack, Will Ferrell, Robert Downey Jr., etc.) were having fun.

Eh, whatever. Done for another year, anyway, and this time in 2013, I'll be even further behind in viewing Oscar nominated films. I didn't watch a single nominated movie. Not one.

Life goes on.

This Week...

I'm going to try to post a pile of stuff this week, time permitting:

Academy Awards (let's take a stab at that today sometime)...

Rick Santorum - This is random, but it caught my eye:. the thought of the separation of church and state makes him want to vomit. Puke away, you sanctimonious closet case. The world hates you.

CBC Marketplace - We've been trying to tune into that more often. I want to touch on that this week and bring something to your attention. If you need to visit an eye doctor soon, you'll want to squint at this space first, or head on over to the CBC.ca website and give the most recent Marketplace a watch. More later.

What You Should Know Before The Weekend

I'm-a fill myself with bacon and sushi today. For those of you who feel that's disgusting, go fuck yourselves.

~~~

The Oscars are on Sunday. I know so many people who love them. For those of you who don't, read this. They're 1,000% right. There's even a bacon reference. It's a great read. I hadn't noticed this before, but it looks like the Academy feels that this year, if they push movies that have anything to do with France, the whole event will look classy and sophisticated again. They rehired Billy Crystal.  I like Billy. He's the only reason I'm watching it this year, but I also know he won't be as obnoxious as I'd like. It's Sunday night, what else am I going to do?

I'm pulling for 'Moneyball'. It's not sad or French or one of those movies black people are supposed to feel good about because not all white people are bad. I'm also rooting for my girl Melissa McCarthy. You know she deserves it more than anyone has ever deserved one of those stupid things. Gawd.

~~~

I can just tell I'm going to have a hard time getting through the day. The weather's crap, it'll keep people home, and that'll keep me from getting some stuff squared away here.

Winter, my arse.

<3

DBB (Day Before Bacon)

As I mentioned, I took the day off yesterday. This is what I did:

I swept. I vacuumed. I drank tea. I played Call of Duty. I made carrot cake.

I did not sleep as late as I would have liked. No matter. The house was quiet and dark and I was able to recharge. While I liked having the day off, I was glad to come back. I don't feel very motivated at home. I just feel tired. Does that sound awful? I don't really feel any reason to do anything overly productive while I'm there. I just listen to everything go on around me. Which really isn't much.

I've gotten a lot done today, but it seems that everywhere I go today, people want to stop and chat. So I've been stopping and chatting. I've laughed a lot today. What a nice surprise that's been. I hope my house is chatty tonight. It's nice to listen to that, even if I don't participate...

Tuesday

I haven't had any time to post anything for the past week because of a proposal. This morning, I found out we received an extension for that proposal. I have a bit o' time to say hello...

Catty women this morning, and a dead pigeon at the station. I casually mentioned it to a passing transit worker, and he got out the pylon and blocked it from view. Then he hopped on his handset and radioed that fucker in right then and there, because he knew just by looking at me that my tender lady sensibilities had been pierced by the presence of a dead bird. Whatever.

Today, I got a new monitor. It's really wide and everything's positioned rather stupidly on the screen. But my eyes feel a little better. I was prepared to be on the fence about it, but I can't be. Which kind of sucks. I haven't been able to waffle all day. Doesn't suit my mood, either.

I'm going to take the day off tomorrow. Just because.

Past Post Purge

Earlier in the week, I began writing a post about Whitney Houston. It was also about drug addiction, and the inappropriate lack of sympathy versus an irresponsible amount of pity. I feel compelled to write something about it, as drug addiction played a crucial role in my own development. I was kind of angry at the time, so it turned into something rambling. I think I can make my point.

When's Day??

I'd hoped to post something today or tomorrow, but it doesn't look likely. My deadline's Tuesday, but I lose Monday due to Family Day, so today I'll have to have my head down.

This workin' for a livin' stuff, eh?

Full.

As I mentioned yesterday, the moon is full tonight. There will be absolutely no argument from me.

To combat the moon's seemingly rabid and insane fullness, here are things that will tear your heart apart with their sweetness.

Google Today

Gorgeous.

Good morning.

It's been a long time since I thought George was sexy. But all of this is sexy.

*_*

Nothing says "Fuck Monday!" like a huge eyed kitten.

Tomorrow's a Full Moon. I know, I looked it up. I could feel it in my $&*#^@! bones before I did so.

Today has served as an worthy precursor to the Full Moon. I've been barked at and ignored so many times today I'm surprised I still work here. The nicest thing that happened today was my being added to someone's network on LinkedIn. I don't know her. She looks nice, though...

Look at the kitten again.

I didn't watch the Super Bowl yesterday, so I didn't 'get to see' Madonna bounce around like what one critic called 'a Greco-Roman cheerleader'. She really might be too old for this. Gaga's wearin' meat, so Madge has to gladiate. Whatever, honey. Men are talking about the game and your new song still blows.

It's come to my attention that certain women* gravitate towards me. I'm flattered, unless they're annoying.

The water cooler is situated very close to her work station. I go there to fetch hot water for tea. She talks to me an awful lot for someone who doesn't know me. This morning...

"Good morning, how are you?"

I smiled. Weakly, I'd imagine, it was early.

"Eh, I'm not sure yet." Guffaw.

She looked at me. Stone faced.

"You always say that to me."

Blink.

On Friday, I was walking away from her and she told me she liked the back pockets on my jeans. She's pretty hot and cold, man. Maybe I should ask her out.

One of the things pissing me off about today is having work to do but waiting on someone else to hold up their end of the so-called work partnership. I feel like I'm working on a history class project with a bunch of deadbeats.

Look at the kitten again.

PS and I have been watching Luck (HBO). I didn't realize this was Dustin Hoffman's first TV role. I really like it. He's playing it pretty buttoned down and it's good. This show is meant to be a slow burn, don't expect fireworks if you watch it. But it's been worth it so far.

An early night for me tonight, I reckon. I'm beat and beaten up. It'll be me and Mr. King, methinks.







Kitten.






* 40-something blonde women of Russian descent

Be a Nerdy McNerderton

If I'd had the support, motivation and money, I'd have been an English professor. I'll have to settle for wannabe geekdom. I look like an aging goth band groupie, but deep down inside I'm like a buttoned-up librarian.

That's kind of delicious.

There are plenty of sites that encourage free thinking without demanding you be an atheist or screenwriter. Or both.

Big Think: Okay, they like atheists here. But they don't hate non-atheists. Isn't that nice?

The Philosopher's Magazine: Partook in all Interactive Activities. Good ice breakers if you want to talk to handsome smart men.

Common Errors in English Usage: I don't refer to this page enough. If I did, I wouldn't have just found an e-calendar with daily entries devoted to righting English wrongs.

Merriam-Webster: A decent site. Rife with pop culture references, though. I like my dictionaries old and stodgy. Grumble.

Acronym Finder: One of the handiest sites I've ever come across. I see a lot of acronyms in what I read and edit, this untangles 'em all for me.

The Browser: My favourite. Good, varied reading.

Here!

These days, when I look out my window at work, I pretend I'm window shopping for a car.

Eh. Pass.

Over the past week, I've been doing a lot of thinking...

If you hate your job, that's pretty much it, isn't it? I mean, you hate one thing and that one thing turns into three things, then five things, then everything. You wind up hating it all across the board. Sometimes you can hate it and no one will be able to tell. But that's another issue and not everyone can carry such loathing around with them at all times without tipping someone off. Thank God. Apparently, one in every 24 people is a psychopath. I gotta be careful how I talk to people.

If you love your job, that's different. I love my job. I adore it. I spend more time here than I do at home, and I'm not broken up about it because it's fulfilling and let's face it: work pays me and more people say 'thank you' for what I do here. It's not all about money. I'm the youngest one in my group and I learn an awful lot from the people around me. How invested, though, is your workplace in you? On a really good day, it doesn't matter. On the day you are lauded for your efforts, you don't give a shit. You love your job and it loves you.

But then again, it is about money. I love this job, but it doesn't love me. I'd never do it for free. I raise kids for free. Hell, I pay to do that. They think I'm old and stupid, but I love them anyway. So what gives?

You have to have hobbies. Friends. Exercise. (The last one I suck at and I'm going to get better at it.) I read an awful lot. I think too much. I talk a lot less than I used to. That's probably why I started a blog. I don't really have any sounding boards for my opinion other than my best friend, and holy shit she doesn't need to hear me go off every day.

It's tough, this balance. It's not because of kids or work. When you have both, you are a parent and a worker. You really do have to fight to be something else. If you are both and you balk at the idea of being anything else, that's wonderful. Your life is brimming with meaning and you are obviously a fully actualized human being.

Until your kids leave home or you get your ass fired.

Don't lose yourself, that's all I'm saying.

This Blog

This was meant to be appended to the last entry...

It's okay if I know you and you have decided not to read this blog. It's very okay. I have a couple of friends who apologize perpetually for not reading. I've told them I'm not offended, and it's true. My family doesn't read my blog. My kids think I'm old and dull anyway, and their father is more interested in YouTube, hockey and soccer (I think, who would know?)... I'm not about to bug 'em about it if I don't care whether or not they read it. I bug 'em if they don't read anything at all. 

Some people do read it. They're mostly anonymous, of course. No matter who they are, it's much appreciated, and it's for the people that like and read it that I keep it, not the people who don't. What would be the point of that? 

To those who show up: thank you so much. :)

Blogs

I don't read other people's blogs anymore. (Okay, I read one.)

Blogs written by women are called 'ladyblogs'. Did you know that? I've read a few. I usually can't stand them, because they chronicle the lives of the type of women I would never hang with. (Hey, these women wouldn't hang with me either.)

But here's the lowdown for you, with some links. You'll be able to tell which bloggers are trying to communicate in earnest, and which ones have become (usually after enjoying some modicum of success) pains in the fucking ass. 

And then some are pure entertainment...

Bugger it.

This is how I'm going to pass the last hour of my day.

Everything SAGs on the Internet

I did it again. I watched another fucking awards show.

Thought for the Day

In the wrong hands, anything is a weapon.

Academy Awards and Other Awful Things

My prediction is that 'The Descendants' will win. Everyone loves George Clooney, despite knowing full well that no one on the planet buys him as anyone's* any kid's father. I think he dislikes kids. I was thrilled to see that Gary Oldman was shortlisted, but I don't think he likes kids either and I think he'll pay dearly for that.

Melissa McCarthy was nominated for the Best Supporting Actress award. She deserves to win too. The woman is fucking brilliant. Watch 'Bridesmaids', then look at Melissa at any time, think of a sink, and try not to laugh. It's hard to make people feel good, yet very, very easy to make people cry (as human beings have a tendency to  attach sentiment to shit that makes no sense). I haven't seen any of the other women in their films. I don't have to, and I think everybody knows that now.

Have you ever imagined how some nominees handle losing? Start with the egos. Add the drugs and booze and dodgy sex that those shaky feelings of entitlement lead these people to indulge in. Now think of the dogged determination it takes to remain in the public consciousness. Think of the devastation upon learning that the public - YOUR public! - loves someone else more than they love you. Think of the consequences and the spouses and children and staff. That's right. Get the fuck out of the way.

Have you noticed that they no longer say, "And the winner is..."? They now have to say "And the Award goes to...". Do you know why? Because no child gets left behind. Everyone's a winner, and no one wants these poor little lambs to feel a sense of loss. They have nothing else going for them. This is as good as it gets. Award season is the yard stick by which all other contributions to American culture are measured.

Americans accuse Canadians of having no culture. Our mix of races and cultures and freshness in the world means that we're too young and scatterbrained to appreciate what having a truly distinct culture means. If you're going to keep on about that, you know need to sort some shit out. Your most recent and significant contributions to the world are probably only appreciated by a quarter of your country. The rest are out tanning and planning pilgrimages to New Jersey. You are seriously considering granting a lot of power to Newt Gingrich. I love you, but you have clearly lost your collective fucking mind.

Come back to us.

~~~~~

This scenario had occurred to me. Actually, despite the country they were visiting, it occurred to me right away. Attempts to murder wives and use the violent social climate of a particular country to pave the way for an alibi have been made before. The whole thing is just awful. I hope she's able to come home soon.

~~~~~

Joan, you're very fucking funny. Stop this shit.





________________________________________________________________
* I might lack Stacy Keibler's perspective. 

Fiction

I never know where any of the stuff I write comes from. I don't usually write from current experiences unless, oddly enough, they're generic or somehow connected to something mundane or impersonal. Many times it comes from around me, or my past, or even some sort of trigger, often completely unrelated. Very rarely do I write about my life right now. I think it's important to make that distinction early on.

Will start posting some shortly.

*crickets*

Very busy at work these days, hence the quiet. No real computer access at home as of yet, so I don't  post there. I'm working on it.A little bit o' stress right now.

In the meantime, please consider:

- I live with three other people who have way better things to do than help me with the house, but beer cans aren't an issue.

- I do what I can to help people, but I don't feel the right amount of empathy sometimes, I admit it. I also don't really spend a lot of time worrying about how other people feel about me. That might pose a problem, but it's a bigger problem for men.

- I also have a hard time getting it up for stupid people.

Friday Day Pass

The week is drawing to a close. The rest of this is a little introspective and annoying. Feel free to not read it. I wouldn't.


Let me just say that after the week I've had, I am so glad I work here. It's not easy all the time, but the people here are more accepting of me than they have to be. The only thing they ever ask me to do is my job, and in return I do that and give them bits of the rest of my life. I guess that's what family does too: they ask you to do your job at home, and you give them what they ask for along with remnants of your work day.

Tit for tat, as they say.

Another proposal out the door. That's two this week. Working for the weekend this time around, that's for sure...

Til next week.

S

So.

I've been working on a proposal and browsing used car listings all day. I don't have anything worthwhile to contribute (so unlike every other day, apparently) but I'll look.

...

All I can see is that yet another Canadian was killed in Mexico, Elton's husband is whingeing about Madonna winning an award for a horrible song (but still not for directing... ergo, he should shut up), and that Italian ship captain is in a shitload of trouble.

Drug wars, angry queens and Italian chickenshits. There's your Tuesday, folks.

My Golden Globes

Eh, I think I'm done with awards shows.

Domar loves this blog!

Domar.ru is a spam referrer. It's been making me sad, as its presence in my stats log means that the traffic count is inaccurate. So I'm gonna have to get a counter or something to confirm what I already suspect: three people read this blog.

Which is great. I happen to love those three people, and I don't see enough of them. So it's kinda like keeping in touch with them. Sorta. Kinda? Maybe.

I know the members of my household don't read the blog much, which is okay as long as they're reading something else they find interesting. My oldest read my blog entry of yesterday, where I mentioned her love of  'The Notebook' and how I understand her love of the movie, alluding to the idea that even though I'm not like her in some ways or how we don't necessarily share the same interests, I do adore her. She said, "There's a silent movie coming out?"

I'm just an old person now.

Eventually their interest will peter out altogether. Then I can post the good (read: dirty) stuff.

About that: that'll happen soon. I'm looking to start a small serial. Or huge. These things have a way of getting away from you. Suggestions welcome.

All About Tim Tebow

I think that everything you really need to know about Tebow can be found in this article. If you need to know anything else about him, you'll have to keep digging.

I think I'm good.

'The Artist' and Art

Has anyone seen 'The Artist'? I'd really like to. It's the first widely-released silent film since Charlie Chaplin pointedly released one in the late 1930s...

Bits.

Just a couple of things before today's main post:

This is ever so gross, but... good...

This is part of my lead-up to a blog post about Mittens.

Happy Wednesday!

How are you, really?

Good morning, beautiful people.

 All people really are beautiful, you know, but they don't use their obvious advantages and powers for the greater good. So fuck 'em.*

If I was in possession of a smartphone courtesy of a company that wasn't going tits up in the public consciousness, I could post from it. But I don't, so I post from work. Soon (Christopher Hitchens' Murderer willing) I hope to be able to post on weekends, as I plan to acquire a Netbook or something of that nature, or get my shitty HP laptop fixed.** My darling PS is leaning towards me getting it fixed, but I have a bad and more-expensive-than-just-buying-something-new feeling about that. I've got lots to do...

Lots to do here too. I'd planned a longer post but that won't happen today. Tomorrow, though, I'll try to touch on what my original intent was with this blog: posting bits o' fiction. I'd like to make it fun, though, and a little more interactive. If you have any ideas for that, please post in the comments.

Until tomorrow...

S~









* WHAT? Do I look like Oprah to you?? 
** It served me well. I got it from my boyfriendhusbandsignificantother when I needed something to write on. He didn't know that HP and I have established this apparent arrangement where I buy their products (desktop PC, printer or laptop), then it takes a sudden, angry technoshit and dies long before it should (but definitely after the warranty expires).

This Week in Crankiness

Hi. The only thing I can think to do in a post today is bitch. 

There have been a flood of car accidents in all parts of Ontario involving teenagers. Most of the drivers have been females in their late teens. As a parent, I have to assign blame to something, so I'll go with inexperience / lack of confidence and subsequent overcompensating arrogance, along with weather and speed. Oh, and put down the fucking cell phones already. Until they've been dismissed as a factor in any of these accidents, I'm going to blame them. And you know we're going to lecture the girls tonight. (I know those poor kids really, really wish their father and I were illiterate...)

There have been two Canadians killed in Mexico this week. You know what, fellow countrymen? Stay the fuck out of Mexico. There are people there running around with machetes who DO NOT WANT US THERE. Mexico is a beautiful country and pretty inexpensive. But by most accounts (excepting those of Mexicans, who love their homeland forever and never, ever want to leave) it's not the most beautiful country in the world, and it's probably getting cheaper for Canadians because the country's corrupt and powerful have decided they like killing us and let's face it, we're like fucking lemmings when it comes to Mexico. Try Cuba. If Cuba's Communism, stalled culture and beach militia unnerve you, spend some money and try Europe. Oh wait. We're in a recession. Then buy a fruity hat and some foreign cheese. And eat all of the cheese, you wasteful asshole.

A 12 year old in Calgary was taken into custody for the sexual assault of three little kids in his residence. Can you think of why a 12 year old would want to have sex with a child under the age of five? I can. He's been taught that it's perfectly acceptable. The only other logical explanation would be severe mental retardation, which would call into question an adult's decision to leave several small children in the older child's care. So... how fucked up IS that household?

Four stabbings in Toronto over past two days, some of them outside clubs and bars. What happened to having a beer in your parents' basement with your buddies, then kicking them all out so you can fool around with your girlfriend? Those clubs are social sinkholes. The ones that welcome people with actual money are too exclusive for the sort of people who randomly stab other people. I think I'm now at the point where I can just dismiss any peremptory sympathy for anyone who frequents any of them. If you want to drink tequila and dance and get stabbed, just go to Mexico. 

Have a great weekend.

And did you finish that tattoo design like I asked??

In a text to my youngest:

"What's doin'? You guys room tidyin' and cleaning your piercings?"

It's just occurred to me that I might not be like other moms.

If I put my socks in the toaster, then I can't heat up Pop Tarts.

A long, ramble-y post today...

If Famous Writers Had Written Twilight… (io9)

My friend Beth linked to this on Facebook (originally posted here). I really had to share it, since Stark's biggest beef with Twilight has always been mine. The comments are golden.

An io9 commenter named Unicycle offered this Dr. Seussian synopsis of the Twilight series:


Twilight, by Dr. Seuss

Jake likes a girl. Her name is Bella.
Bella likes a different fella.

See this vamp? This is Ed.
Ed is pale. Ed is dead.

Ed saved Bella from a van.
Ed must be a special man.

Ed won't kill boys. He won't kill girls.
Ed gets fed on deer and squirrels.

This is James. He's a tracker.
He's a sort of vamp attacker.

James hunts Bella for a thrill.
Will Ed kill him? Yes, he will.

But James gave her a little bite.
Will she be a vamp? She might!

Edward fixes Bella's cut.
She won't be a vampire.
But...

She becomes one. Read some more.
She's a vampire in book 4.

Happy New Year!

To all. :)

I hope that everyone who celebrated Christmas enjoyed it thoroughly, and that everybody got everything they needed and a lot of what they wanted. :)