Here!

These days, when I look out my window at work, I pretend I'm window shopping for a car.

Eh. Pass.

Over the past week, I've been doing a lot of thinking...

If you hate your job, that's pretty much it, isn't it? I mean, you hate one thing and that one thing turns into three things, then five things, then everything. You wind up hating it all across the board. Sometimes you can hate it and no one will be able to tell. But that's another issue and not everyone can carry such loathing around with them at all times without tipping someone off. Thank God. Apparently, one in every 24 people is a psychopath. I gotta be careful how I talk to people.

If you love your job, that's different. I love my job. I adore it. I spend more time here than I do at home, and I'm not broken up about it because it's fulfilling and let's face it: work pays me and more people say 'thank you' for what I do here. It's not all about money. I'm the youngest one in my group and I learn an awful lot from the people around me. How invested, though, is your workplace in you? On a really good day, it doesn't matter. On the day you are lauded for your efforts, you don't give a shit. You love your job and it loves you.

But then again, it is about money. I love this job, but it doesn't love me. I'd never do it for free. I raise kids for free. Hell, I pay to do that. They think I'm old and stupid, but I love them anyway. So what gives?

You have to have hobbies. Friends. Exercise. (The last one I suck at and I'm going to get better at it.) I read an awful lot. I think too much. I talk a lot less than I used to. That's probably why I started a blog. I don't really have any sounding boards for my opinion other than my best friend, and holy shit she doesn't need to hear me go off every day.

It's tough, this balance. It's not because of kids or work. When you have both, you are a parent and a worker. You really do have to fight to be something else. If you are both and you balk at the idea of being anything else, that's wonderful. Your life is brimming with meaning and you are obviously a fully actualized human being.

Until your kids leave home or you get your ass fired.

Don't lose yourself, that's all I'm saying.