This Week in Crankiness

Hi. The only thing I can think to do in a post today is bitch. 

There have been a flood of car accidents in all parts of Ontario involving teenagers. Most of the drivers have been females in their late teens. As a parent, I have to assign blame to something, so I'll go with inexperience / lack of confidence and subsequent overcompensating arrogance, along with weather and speed. Oh, and put down the fucking cell phones already. Until they've been dismissed as a factor in any of these accidents, I'm going to blame them. And you know we're going to lecture the girls tonight. (I know those poor kids really, really wish their father and I were illiterate...)

There have been two Canadians killed in Mexico this week. You know what, fellow countrymen? Stay the fuck out of Mexico. There are people there running around with machetes who DO NOT WANT US THERE. Mexico is a beautiful country and pretty inexpensive. But by most accounts (excepting those of Mexicans, who love their homeland forever and never, ever want to leave) it's not the most beautiful country in the world, and it's probably getting cheaper for Canadians because the country's corrupt and powerful have decided they like killing us and let's face it, we're like fucking lemmings when it comes to Mexico. Try Cuba. If Cuba's Communism, stalled culture and beach militia unnerve you, spend some money and try Europe. Oh wait. We're in a recession. Then buy a fruity hat and some foreign cheese. And eat all of the cheese, you wasteful asshole.

A 12 year old in Calgary was taken into custody for the sexual assault of three little kids in his residence. Can you think of why a 12 year old would want to have sex with a child under the age of five? I can. He's been taught that it's perfectly acceptable. The only other logical explanation would be severe mental retardation, which would call into question an adult's decision to leave several small children in the older child's care. So... how fucked up IS that household?

Four stabbings in Toronto over past two days, some of them outside clubs and bars. What happened to having a beer in your parents' basement with your buddies, then kicking them all out so you can fool around with your girlfriend? Those clubs are social sinkholes. The ones that welcome people with actual money are too exclusive for the sort of people who randomly stab other people. I think I'm now at the point where I can just dismiss any peremptory sympathy for anyone who frequents any of them. If you want to drink tequila and dance and get stabbed, just go to Mexico. 

Have a great weekend.